The Northman 2022 by AverageMansReviews

The Northman 2022 by AverageMansReviews

Review Time

Warning: there is flashing effects/colourful effects/rituals/chopping/cutting/be heading/impaling/stabbing/self-harming/biting/disfigurement/disembowelment/decapitation/torture/slavery/animal cruelty/animal and human feeding/period - yes I am talking about the seasonal change.

This is the life of Amleth: Father King Aurvandill War-Raven [Ethan Hawke] and Mother Queen Gudrún [Nicole Kidman] to Prince Amleth/I can't remember if or if not he has a different name at some point in this film apologies either way [Younger; Oscar Novak/Older Alexander Skarsgård] a Viking warrior who will hopefully take over from his father when he dies in battle and makes the journey to Valhalla, but he is concerned that when his time comes his son is far from ready so he begins his education and spiritual awakening alongside Heimir The Fool [Williem Dafoe] as this title would suggest he is a fool, but he is also this spiritual enlightener as well, but they are too late as the King's Brother Fjölnir the Brotherless [Claes Bang] and others let's put this nicely overthrow the King, but young Amleth is presumed dead after a snivelling member of this search party fails to capture him and informs his King that I am paraphrasing here he is dead, but our recently presumed dead Prince takes most of his nose off, so he has the name Finnr The Nose-Stub [Eldar Skar,] but Amleth swears these three things "I will avenge you father, save you mother and kill you Fjölnir" as he rode away in a rowing boat.

The pacing for this 137 minute film is excellent, based on it uses a theatre style format like Acts I, II and so on but instead of this we get Norse text [full disclosure, I did spend a little bit of time looking this up, but this may not be its real name, I was just thinking I would point this out before someone got back to me;] it is basically white stick and shapes with English subtitles underneath] there is always something to see and experience in one way or another; be it the scenery, landscapes, the vision sequences for an example the tree of Kings [Family Tree] with very literal generations of Amleth past, present and future appears on the tree, in suitable attire for their time period connected to the tree by a vine/branch if you're wondering about the future it can do the next generation as long as they are conceived as in the womb they will appear here.

Now this may be a little bit obvious considering of the long, long very warning section at the top, but I should just reinforce and this is absolutely nothing against this film, but the action sequences are on one hand perfectly designed for this film especially the ending battle sequence, I am not going to say too much about this but maybe this; it is a shame that not one of these individuals brought any sausages and/or marshmallows with them, but on the other hand they are graphic and I am fully aware of what I'm about to say next is not an action sequence, but it is a fantastic point of the kind of graphic nature I am talking about Olga of the Birch Forest [Anya Taylor-Joy] is a Slavic sorceress which at this point in the film is going through her period and Fjölnir would like sex with her with him saying " it is just a little bit of blood" so she puts it on her hands and quickly smears some of it on his face, be for human strains her and tells the other woman in the scene paraphrasing here again; teach her; her place or you will both suffer.

The character developments and performances; the character developments have been freshened up, considering for some strange reason they are the good old reliable character types for this kind of film; the reason why they have this freshened up feel to them, is because this is very much a cast performance, I mean this is one of those occasions where if there was anything less than these strong performances from anyone, it would be very easy to pick up on, that is how high everyone's performance is, big or small roles like for an example  Seeress [Björk] they all bring it to the table.

This film receives: 9/10, this film is excellent: after some thinking about it, I decided to award this mark, it really does move things on from the original Conan the Barbarian 1982 [yes I know of/seen the 2011 remake starring Jason Momoa as Conan,] but when I state this I mean from it from the perspective of the entire genre where this is now the new standardbearer for in this genre and to aim somewhere here or to beat it and anything less is no longer don't cut the mustard the only disappointing thing is [when this review was first dictated] it has now nominees accredited to its name or consequently winners and full disclosure again I think I missed about 5 minutes at the beginning of this film, I was watching a Top Gun: Maverick 2022 trailer outside with the person I went to the cinema with.