Monday, 20 January 2020

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra 2009 by AverageMansReviews

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra 2009 by AverageMansReviews

Review Time: this film is poor

Fundamental elements: there is a number and words on screen, cultural elements, slow-motion effects, quick moving effects, mental imagery, yes and no to subtitles being used when another language is being used, time jumps and place jumps.

The movement; well the movement of this film is extremely tiresome; on one hand it is quick pace whilst on the other hand the problems that this project has it isn't predominantly it's fault more like a sprinkling of salt, I know this is relatively early but I have no problem saying this film was doomed to fail and because of this; this film feel much, much longer than what it is film length is only 118 minutes [I will explain more in this review.]

Origin storyline/Back stories/Storyline: I hope this film is still being shown somewhere to anyone that wants to get into the film industry on any level, because to put this very nicely it clearly shows what not to do. Based on my viewing experience in these three components are excruciatingly painful to sit through.

Because continuously throughout this film the viewers will get in one way or another an origin element or back element or back to the storyline [present day] and I would like to take a second to highlight when I say continuously I am not even close to exaggerating, I mean if you want me to be positive for a second on reflection the narrative between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow younger or older this is good.]

But this film covers so, so, so, so much that the viewers will quickly see this film as nothing but torture as it jumps around squeezing as much information in as possible, without giving this film or its audience time to breathe and to take in the latest piece of information or part of the film and one final thing there is the question mark/continuation if you look for the character/performer the President of the United States of America.

Action sequences/Artistic visions/Comedy level: the action sequences are designed to be hard-hitting in-your-face with weapons being used or combat with younger or older Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, vehicles [such as these Snowmobile Jet Skis with a massive science-fiction twist] or this shooting training simulator [like a computer game where you are holding the gun] this underwater training [in this underwater Battle Fighter [this is not its official name but how I would describe them, because I don't know their official name, but in fairness to myself you will know them when you see them] or this underwater battle sequence [inside the same underwater Battle Fighters as it relates to the GI Joes] or when we have this sequence of Snake Eyes on top of this armoured moving vehicle trying to get to Storm Shadow inside or when our lead character/role runs jumps over this train wearing a Delta-6 Accelerator Suit [this very expensive body armour/weapons system,] there is a parachute being used as well in a separate scene [I was dictating the comedy level paragraph and I remembered this -- this will make sense when you get to that point in this review and on top of that I came back another time to put in the parachute or like I couldn't remember how our lead character/performer dealt with this train or tram, but before this element I watched Snake Eyes on top of this armored vehicle -- yes I often go back to watch an element again, just to make sure it is in the right order or I have forgotten it or I should put it in or something to this effect and yes I don't bring it up normally, but in this case it illustrates how much hard work this film is.] Moving on to the artistic visions; there is this band playing, singing and dancing, these scenes or sequences involving younger Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow and the underwater training with the Battle Fighter, Battle with, the Battle Fighters these all look good and eye-catching.

Comedy level; now I was watching this sequel [G.I. Joe: Retaliation 2013] and I remembered I didn't mention anything about the comedy level in this project, like I keep saying on reflection, because at the time of dictating this review the first time around there was so much to say as you can see, but as I vaguely remember and I haven't published this review yet there are elements of comedy which aren't that funny; in this scene the best friend character/performer comes along and does the best friend thing or the same character/performer really, really wants to get to know this other character/performer which is female but everything he tries doesn't work [maybe it is because they are not in high school anymore if I had to have an educated guess] or the same character/performer not taking the time to read this manual for this Delta-6 Accelerator Suit.

Character developments/Performances: well the character developments very much get shoved down our necks thanks to the origin and back stories and if it isn't these two elements the character developments are poor anyway.

The performances; the thing is as you can clearly see/read this project has many problems, I mean once again on reflection Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow; younger with their Sensei or older these are good; there is friction here, I mean if this narrative or elements were given time to breathe and develop properly there is potential here [on a side note and I don't know too much about this but filming right now is a spin-off of Snake Eyes -- if you put into Google Snake Eyes 2020 you will find it.] Moving on there is a little bit of chemistry/friction between Snake Eyes and Duke [in the combat training scenes.]

But for the rest it is cosmetic chemistry/friction [meaning it looks like chemistry/friction, depending where you are; is depending what you get. But my point is this; what they are selling I ain't buying it. But then again in fairness and balance I should point this out; they are having to work with how terrible this film is as well.

This film receives: 1/10, I have said this when it is appropriate and this is another occasion in this review the reason why I keep saying on reflection, is because as I have already said in a nutshell there is so much happening in this film but maybe the time of watching this film I was getting frustrated of how poor this film is, but on reflection I can see if Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were given more time there is a much better storyline here than what this film has to offer [hopefully this is what they are focusing on in the film title Snake Eyes 2020.] But for here and now I am so happy to see the back of this project.

Last updated: Wednesday 22/01/2020

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